Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking
by Kitakana
Summary: After two dragon slayers and an ice mage pass out following a drinking competition, Pantherlily, slightly drunk himself, gets the idea to strategically place the unconscious mages in various locations. What will happen when the mages awake to find themselves in compromising positions with certain female members of Fairy Tail? GaLe, Gruvia, and NaLu as instigated by Pantherlily.
1. An ill-fated drinking competition

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking_

_Standard disclaimers apply. Rated T for the most part until the end of chapter 3. M after that._

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**Chapter 1: An ill-fated drinking competition**

It was another one of those long and rambunctious nights at Fairy Tail.

"Oi, Mira!" called Gray, "Another one of those shots over here!"

"Another for me too!" chimed in Natsu from his seat across the bar, competition gleaming in his eyes.

"Stop copying me, you flame-brain!" Gray retorted.

"Eh, I could keep drinking all night, you ice bastard!"

"Aye sir!" chimed in Happy.

"There's no way you'd beat me, you'd pass out first-"

"Another for me as well," added Gajeel as he arrived with Pantherlily, walking up to lean across the bar and unwittingly cutting into the bickering between Gray and Natsu.

"Alright! Three more of the same!"

"Four more of the same!"

"Idiots," muttered Gajeel to Mira.

"Gajeel, get out of the way, I'm gonna beat that ice princess!" said Natsu.

A punch aimed at Gray grazed past Gajeel's shoulder. Gajeel stumbled sideways into Gray, causing Gray to trip over Lily's tail.

"Alright, that's it," said Gajeel menacingly, "you dragged my cat into this. I'm going to beat you _both_! Mira! Five more of the same!"

Lily rolled his eyes. Gajeel could be such a hypocritical idiot at times.

The two dragon slayers and the ice mage downed drink after drink. Happy and Lily were even coerced into drinking with them, although they consumed far less. Lily watched in amusement as Happy fell asleep in Natsu's lap and as Natsu, Gajeel, and Gray continued to down alcohol and trade insults.

Mirajane smiled her cryptic smile as she prepared their final round of drinks. As Pantherlily sipped his fourth drink and nursed his injured tail, he watched the scene before him unfold. He was the only one to notice that Mira had added a little something extra into each of their drinks.

As the three men drank the most recent drinks that Mira had prepared, Lily looked on with anticipation.

A few minutes later, they all simultaneously collapsed, passed out cold on the guild hall floor.

Lily glanced up at Mira who was still smiling her calm and vaguely sinister smile.

"It would be such as shame just to leave them on the floor like that for the next two hours until they wake up," said Mira, her smile seeming eerily diabolical, "Wouldn't you agree Pantherlily?"

Lily, who had had a few too many drinks for his small form, grinned back an identical diabolical grin. The alcohol was making him think more creatively than usual. He had three passed-out mages at his disposal for the next two hours. His mind swirled with the possibilities.

This night was going to get interesting.

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**A/N: **This is short because it is just the prologue. I've already written the next few chapters and they are much longer and packed with Lily-instigated craziness. I will post the next chapter in the next few days. I hope you enjoy this! Let's see what Lily can come up with. I just picture him with his arms crossed, trademark smirk in place while thinking devious thoughts. This _is _going to be fun.


	2. Erotic novels, bondage, and nudity

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking, chapter 2_

Obviously, I am not a god like Hiro Mashima, so I do not own Fairy Tail.

Dedicated to fairyglitter101 because of the kind comments and encouragement. Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!

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**Chapter 2: Erotic novels, bondage, and nudity**

As Lily's head spun slightly due to his recent alcohol intake, he stared down at the passed out forms of the two dragon slayers and the ice mage. What to do with them? Oh, this was going to be the most fun he'd had in some time.

Lily remembered that he had seen Levy go into the library some hours ago and had not seen her come out. She had probably fallen asleep reading, Lily reasoned. This would not be the first time. This opportunity was too good to pass up. Lily knew exactly what he was going to do with Gajeel.

In his large form, Lily opened the library door as silently as he could, hefting the large form of Gajeel over his shoulder. He saw that Levy had indeed fallen asleep, her head resting on the open book before her. He watched her as he entered the library, hoping that his movements would not disturb her sleep. It would ruin the fun if she were to wake up before Lily had finished here.

Lily smirked. The table Levy had fallen asleep at was quite large, thought Lily, just big enough for a person to lie across the top of it. Lily carefully lowered the passed-out dragon slayer across the table so that his head rested against the corner of Levy's book.

As Lily carefully positioned Gajeel's head next to Levy's, he took note of the book that Levy had been reading. If the few words saw with just a glance were any indication, this book looked suspiciously like one of Erza's romance novels. All the better, thought Lily, imagining the faces of the two mages when they awoke. That could get interesting.

The two of them made a cute picture, Lily noticed: Levy, passed out with her face pressing into an open book, Gajeel knocked out and thoroughly intoxicated lying with his face right next to hers and his mouth slightly open. Lily wished he had a camera. He also wished he could be there when they both awoke just to see their reactions.

But Lily could not afford to stick around and watch. He had other plans to attend to.

* * *

When Lily, now back in his small form, returned to the bar, he found Natsu and Gray still passed out and looking like they were just begging to be moved to compromising locations. Happy was curled up against Natsu, and although Lily wanted to move Natsu eventually, he would wait a while to let Happy sleep a bit more. This was of course so that the exceed would be more rested and could help Lily with his plans for Natsu later.

Gray would be Lily's next victim. Since Gray had stepped on Lily's tail (however inadvertently it had been), Lily decided that he would spare him no mercies. It was time to find the stripper some clothes.

It took Lily quite a bit of searching around the guild to find the materials he needed to deal with Gray. While the guild had not had exactly what he had been looking for, what he had found instead would work better anyway and would be way more entertaining. Lily was thankful that Gray had been drugged asleep rather than just passing out from alcohol because he would definitely have woken up otherwise from what Lily had planned. After quickly redressing the stripper, Lily left Fairy Tail dragging the unconscious Gray behind him.

When Lily arrived at Fairy Hills, he ditched Gray's immobile form behind a large bush and flew to the window he knew contained his first accomplice. He knocked on her window, hoping she would be awake and amenable to his requests.

Ten minutes later, Lily's plan was ready to be set in motion. He had known that Laki would be the best accomplice he could have hoped for. Although initially pissed about being woken up in the middle of the night, she had had everything he'd needed and had even offered creative suggestions for how exactly to use the magic-inhibiting chains and cuffs. But Lily now faced the most challenging part of his plan: sneaking into a water mage's apartment with a chained and drugged ice mage in order to leave him in a compromising position, all while assuring that said water mage did not wake up too soon.

Lily was happy to find that Juvia had left her door unlocked. He had been worried it might cause too much noise if he tried to enter carrying Gray through the window, especially considering the chains that Laki had lent him. He looked around for her as he crept silently into her room and was delighted to find her fast asleep in bed.

As he entered the room, he immediately spotted the large green sofa that Laki had mentioned. Lily agreed with Laki; it would be the perfect place for him to leave Gray. Lily smirked to himself and got to work as silently as he possibly could.

It took a surprisingly long time to secure chains silently, Lily mused. He took about ten times as long as he normal could have, taking care not to let the chains rattle-he could not risk waking Juvia during the most delicate stage of the operation. He fastened the chains around Gray's wrists, looped them securely once around the back of the sofa, and closed the cuffs around Gray's ankles. Trust Laki to have nice magic-blocking chains with hand cuffs on one end and ankle cuffs on the other. Lily would have to remember to do something nice for her for letting him borrow these.

Once finished, Lily stepped back to admire his masterpiece. Gray was stretched out on Juvia's plush couch with the chains pulling his cuffed hands high above his head. On the table next to the couch was the key to Gray's shackles on top of a letter that Lily had written from Gray to Juvia:

_Dearest Juvia,_

_Tonight, I got drunk and decided to do something that was probably really stupid. I must now confess to you that I have a secret fetish for bondage. As I am so drunk right that I will probably remember none of this when I wake up, I beg of you to remind me when I wake that I am here based on my own actions and choices. I leave you the key to my shackles along with they key to my heart._

_-Gray_

_P.S.: Kindly return these magic-blocking shackles to Laki when we are done with them, she was kind enough to help me set this up as a pleasant surprise for you._

But the note was not even the best part of Lily's work of art. The best part, in Lily's opinion, was the clothes that Gray was wearing. Unable to find something along the lines of Virgo's maid costume at the guild, Lily had settled on the next best thing he could find: Erza's sexy bunny costume. Lily smirked. Gray made quite the spectacle. He managed to pull off the sexy bondage bunny look quite well.

It was really too bad that Lily still had one more drunken mage to strategically place for the night, because watching Juvia's reaction upon waking up to a chained and scandalously-clad Gray was bound to be an unforgettable sight.

* * *

Upon returning to the Fairy Tail, Lily found Natsu and Happy still passed out on the guild hall floor. Because Happy was stirring and muttering under his breath about fish, Lily figured there would be no harm done by waking him up.

Lily poked Happy sharply in the stomach.

"Sakanaaa…?"

Lily immediately shushed him, explaining his plan for Natsu. Happy listened groggily, nodding his agreement, but voicing one concern.

"Natsu sleeps in Lucy's bed all the time. You can't just put him there and expect something out of the ordinary to happen."

Lily hmmed in contemplation.

"You should leave him naked and hide all of his clothes!"

"Well, I suppose that could work…"

"I still need to get revenge for him being such a pervert yesterday." Ah yes, that was right, thought Lily. He had heard something along those lines from Asuka.

Natsu suddenly groaned and stirred.

"Lily! Do something!"

"Aye sir," replied Lily as he swiftly punched Natsu in the gut just for good measure. It had, after all, been nearly two hours since the trio of mages had been drugged and Mira had said that the effects wore off after about two hours.

And so with Natsu now unquestionably unconsciousness, Happy and Lily departed, carrying Natsu between them as they flew to Lucy's apartment.

When they arrived, Lucy was fortunately sleeping soundly. They entered silently through her open window.

Happy divested Natsu of all clothing save his scarf as Lily pulled back the blankets on one side of Lucy's bed. Making no sounds, they placed Natsu, unconscious and unclothed, next to Lucy in her bed and pulled to covers over him.

If the whole situation weren't so funny, Lily would almost feel sorry for Natsu. What would it be like to wake up after a night of drinking, naked and in bed with the member to Fairy Tail known for being most aggressive to those who trespassed in her apartment?

Although they definitely made quite the picture like that, this was one situation for which Lily did not want to stick around to watch. Knowing Lucy's history of treatment of those who trespassed in her apartment, he did not think that sticking around would be the best course of action. And Natsu's unintentional trespassing this time went way beyond the usual. Lucy would probably turn into demon Lucy.

Lily turned and fled. Happy, barely able to contain his giggling at the sight before him, grabbed Natsu's clothes and followed Lily out of the still open window.

"Happy, what do you plan on doing with Natsu's clothes?" asked Lily as they flew back to the guild.

"Can I just leave them lying where we found Natsu?" asked Happy. "Then he would have to walk back to the guild naked to get them!"

Lily chuckled to himself. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day. He couldn't wait to see how all of his drunken matchmaking turned out.

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**A/N:** This takes place right after the omake "Natsu and Asuka," just to give it a little context, so after the grand magic games but before the tartaros arc.

Also, have you ever noticed how there are only like nine fics featuring Laki out there? Laki does not get enough recognition in this fandom, I mean, she's really quite a character. You all saw her room in the Fairy Hills tour OVA, right? Now she's one character that has a serious bondage/sadism fetish in canon. I mean, if there's stuff like Max/Broom fics floating around, there should be Laki bondage fics, right? I just had to give her a cameo here.

Maybe someday I'll write a nice oneshot featuring Laki and bondage. Maybe an outtake on this story. That could be interesting. She really deserves to have way more fics about her.

There will be one chapter on the aftermath of Lily's fun per knocked-out mage. Then maybe two chapters to wrap up this story after that. So, much more to come :) Anyway, next chapter, we start seeing what happens the morning after. Prepare yourselves.

Until then mina-san.


	3. The perks of romance novels

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking_

Standard disclaimers apply. However, what is born from Lily's devious mind is all my own.

**Chapter 3: The perks of romance novels**

* * *

Light was filtering through the library window when Levy awoke. She had been having an exciting dream based on the book she had been reading. It was a novel Erza had lent her which told a torridly graphic tale of a rogue mage ravishing a noble princess. After Levy had finished the novel, she had flipped back to one of the steamiest parts, the part where the mage declared his undying love for the princess and she rejected him because he had been cast out of the land. The mage said that he did not care and proceeded to ravage the princess once she gave in to his advances. Levy blushed, looking down at that page as she shook her head to dispel her sleepiness.

As she made to close the book, she noticed something blocking her movements. Levy uttered a sharp intake of breath. She was not alone.

The iron dragon slayer was sleeping peacefully, spread out across the table before her with his head resting solidly on the corner of her book. Her first thought was that he looked quite peaceful sleeping like that. He was almost…cute.

And then Levy remembered what book he was sleeping on. Questions of how Gajeel had gotten to be sleeping on said book were driven from her mind as she panicked. While she had no problem reading excessively around others, there was no way she wanted Gajeel of all people to catch her reading _that_ book open to _that_ page.

Levy was faced with two options. She could silently leave the library and hope that Gajeel could not smell who had left their erotic novel pillowed under his head or she could try to take the novel without waking him and then flee. She decided to try the latter option.

Levy tried to ease the book out from under Gajeel's sleeping head, trying with all of her might to be gentle and not to wake him. But the book came free suddenly sending Levy's arm springing back with recoil. Gajeel's head slid off the book and hit the table with a dull thunk.

Levy held her breath, hoping against hope that he would stay asleep. But her hopes were in vain.

Gajeel's hand shot out suddenly reflexively and snatched the book from her grasp as his eyes opened ever so slightly.

"…Shrimp?" Gajeel asked groggily, "What are you doing here?"

"Umm… Gajeel?" Asked Levy timidly, "Why did you fall asleep on a table on top of this book, next to me in the library?"

"What?" Gajeel retorted, now fully awake. He looked around himself to take in his surroundings and then propped himself up on an elbow, leaning forward to stare at Levy. "Huh. I have no idea. I sure as hell wouldn't have just fallen asleep next to you."

"I… umm…"

"I mean," added Gajeel, belated realizing how his comment must have sounded to Levy, "I wouldn't have done it unintentionally like that, and certainly not on a table."

Gajeel smirked, noting that Levy cheeks were beginning to turn pink.

"And what is this book?" Gajeel asked, glancing at the still-open book in his grasp. His eyebrows rose as he read the words written on the page.

"You fell asleep reading _this_?"

Levy blushed brightly as she nodded. She knew that there was no way he was going to let her live this down.

"You like reading stuff like this?" he asked, eyeing her appraisingly. Apparently she was not as innocent as he had assumed.

Levy was too mortified by his intense stare to respond. Gajeel turned his attention back to the book, gazing at it speculatively.

"_And then he unlaced her bodice slowly, savoring the feeling of her trembling insatiably in his arms. She whimpered softly in acquiescence as his mouth descended over her bosom,"_ he read aloud and then raised his eyes to meet Levy's. "Seriously? He's doing it wrong. I mean, didn't she just tell him she wanted nothing to do with him? And now she's letting him do that to her?"

Levy met his stare, blushing furiously and unable to respond. She was uncomfortably aware of how close she was sitting to him and of how very predatory he looked laying on his side across her reading table, his head propped up by an elbow. A fluttering feeling settled in her chest.

"Because I would never do that to a girl unless I was completely sure that that was what she wanted." Levy blinked. "So that mage is doing it wrong. You're too smart for dumb stuff like that."

Gajeel slowly set the book down on the table next to them, holding Levy's gaze. Levy held her breath, unable to believe that the scene in front of her was actually happening.

"Levy," Gajeel leaned forward so that his face was mere inches away from Levy's. "Let me try something?"

Levy found herself unable to move. Her mind was not functioning properly, her thoughts clouded by the iron dragon slayer's intense presence before her. Her face must have been flaming red and she felt her stomach jolt with nerves. After a few moments, she realized that he was waiting for some kind of response from her. Her mouth going dry with anticipation, she nodded her head.

That was all indication he needed. He leaned forward and slid his hand around the back of her head, pulling her forward and to press his lips gently against hers.

Levy couldn't believe that this was actually happening. The man she had been dreaming about for months was actually kissing her of his own volition. He kissed her softly, almost tentatively, but oh so sweetly. Levy moaned as his lips left her own and he drew back to look at her.

"Been meaning to try that for a while now," Gajeel mumbled, gazing steadily at her as if to gage her reaction. Levy broke into a slow smile as she looked up at him.

"Really?" she asked in a small voice. Gajeel nodded.

Levy couldn't help herself. She stood up from her chair and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as she could from where she was standing.

It was kind of awkward being positioned like this, Levy realized, with Gajeel lying across a table and Levy leaning over him hugging him like that. Just as the thought crossed her mind, Gajeel sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the table.

"Come here." Levy emitted a soft squeak as he reached his arms around her and lifted her up so that he was cradling her in his lap.

He leaned over her, looking down into her wide eyes. "This is way better than in that book, right?"

However Gajeel had ended up falling asleep on her book, Levy wasn't going to complain anymore. After the initial mortification, perhaps letting him in on that fact that she read that kind of book wasn't such a bad thing. Levy giggled and reached up to pull his face down to hers.

* * *

**A/N:** Nice, cute and fluffy. This was kind of tame. This chapter is definitely not why this fic is rated M. I mean, I'm not seeing those two just hooking up and being all like surprise!lemon all at once, they're one of those couples that needs to take their time. For Gray and Juvia however… well, that's next chapter. While this story could probably have passed as T up until now, next chapter most definitely does not.

Until then, mina-san.


	4. Bondage and devotion

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking_

Standard disclaimers apply. Hiro Mashima is a god and I am not. I don't own a thing.

Dedicated to my reviewers and also to my cat Star. He is my inspiration for the twisted workings of Lily's mind.

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**Chapter 4: Bondage and devotion**

Gray awoke to a loud scream.

He blinked and looked up to see Juvia rooted to the spot before him. Her face was bright red with a look contorted between the usual swooning gaze she gave him and utter horror. She was barefoot and wearing rather revealing pajamas, her hair sticking out at odd angles as if she had just stepped out of bed.

"Juvia…?" Asked Gray. He struggled to sit up and tried to pull his arms down from behind his head, only to realize that there was something preventing this motion. Something cold and iron-feeling that was bound around each of his wrists, restricting his movements. As he tugged to pull his arms down, he heard the faint clink of metal chains.

Gray assessed his surroundings. His hands and feet were chained and he was sitting on something soft and cushy, probably a couch. He looked around and saw that he was in what looked like a bedroom. This was probably Juvia's bedroom, considering that she was in pajamas before him, still staring at him as though she could not believe he was real.

He had no recollection of how he had come to be here. He hadn't gotten so drunk last night that he had gone home with Juvia… had he? And why the hell was he chained up? Gray began to panic.

As Gray panicked, he reflexively tried to shoot ice from his wrists to break the cuffs binding him. He was shocked back when the magic he had tried to send through his wrists refused to do his bidding. It was as though the magic he had sent had been sucked up by some invisible force.

Magic-restricting chains, thought Gray. _Oh fuck_.

He did not realize that he had spoken aloud until Juvia started forward, her eyes on something on top of a small table next to Gray. Gray saw that on the table were a key and a short letter.

Without uttering a word, Juvia deliberately picked up the note and began to read. Gray felt a deep sensation of impending doom as he silently watched Juvia. Juvia's face became increasingly red as she read the letter's contents. When she had finished reading, she raised her eyes to meet Gray's with an unfathomable look on her face.

"Gray-sama…" she whispered incredulously, "is it really true?"

"Juvia?" asked Gray hesitantly, "Is what true? And… and why am I all tied up?"

Juvia did not respond, she just held up the letter in front of his face for him to read.

_Dearest Juvia,_

_Tonight, I got drunk and decided to do something that was probably really stupid. I must now confess to you that I have a secret fetish for bondage. As I am so drunk right that I will probably remember none of this when I wake up, I beg of you to remind me when I wake that I am here based on my own actions and choices. I leave you the key to my shackles along with they key to my heart._

_-Gray_

_P.S.: Kindly return these magic-blocking shackles to Laki when we are done with them, she was kind enough to help me set this up as a pleasant surprise for you._

Gray remained silent for a moment after he had finished reading. He was absolutely mortified. There was no fucking way. He would never ever do that… right? Gray dismissed his self-doubt almost immediately. That letter was way too sappy for him to have written it. It wasn't even in his handwriting. Gray snapped back to the present, now in full panic.

"Juvia! That's not true, I swear!" said Gray in a rush. "I mean, I did get drunk, but there's no way I would ever do this to myself! That's not even my handwriting!"

"Then why is Gray-sama in Juvia's bedroom?" Juvia eyed him timidly, staring down at him with wide eyes. "And why is he chained up and wearing... _that_?"

As Gray usually did not pay attention to what he was or wasn't wearing, his clothing had not even crossed his mind.

Gray looked down at himself. He was wearing black knee highs and what appeared to be a one-piece black women's swimming suit and quite obviously nothing underneath it. Gray imagined that on a woman, it would look sexy, but on him… it sagged around his chest and pulled tightly across the area between his legs, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"KYAAAHH!" Gray tried to move his hands to cover himself but was yet again restricted by those stupid chains. The best he could do was squeeze his legs together. Gray had never felt more vulnerable in his life. Here he was, magically chained and wearing something that seemed way more revealing than even his usual state of undress in front of _Juvia_, of all people, who was eyeing him nervously and practically drooling.

"Juvia, please get me out of this!"

"Gray-sama wants Juvia to…take it off?" Juvia sounded hopeful and less timid, her eyes taking on a devious glint.

Gray's eyes widened in horror and his mouth went dry as he realized how she had misinterpreted his comment. This could not be happening.

"No, no, the chains! Get me out of the chains!"

Juvia looked skeptical. "But the letter said to remind Gray-sama that he was here based on his own actions and choices."

If Gray's hands had been free, he would have facepalmed. Someone with a death wish must have set this up after Gray had drunk so much last night.

"Juvia." Gray replied. "I did not write that letter! Untie me so I can go kill whoever set us up like this."

"Ok." Juvia seemed to deflate slightly, but did as requested. "If Gray-sama insists."

She picked up the key left by the note and leaned down to undo the cuffs around Gray's ankles first. After freeing both of his ankles, she looked up at him boldly. While Gray felt supremely uncomfortable about the whole situation, having Juvia look up at him wearing a low-cut silk pajama top while kneeling between his legs like that was really, dare he think it, a turn on. Because her pajamas showed far more skin than her usual attire.

Juvia slowly rose from her knees giving Gray a determined smile. Gray was definitely blushing now for entirely different reasons than before. As Juvia leaned across Gray's body to reach above his head and unlock the hand cuffs, Gray could not keep his gaze from the generous cleavage now just at his eye level. Juvia's body was rubbing against his as she reached above him to free his hands. Her presence was now overwhelming him. Before Gray could stop himself, he let out a low moan.

Juvia finished unlocking Gray's hands and looked down at him.

"So Gray-sama _does_ have a kink for bondage!" She smiled fully now, a hint of a smirk in her gaze.

Gray's hands shot down and seized her shoulders, belatedly realizing that they were free. "Don't you ever mention to anyone that this happened."

"No, but if Gray-sama would ever want to try it again sometime," she paused, smiling broadly as she slid her arms around his torso, "Juvia wouldn't mind."

Gray was torn. One part of his mind was in shock at what she had said and wanted to pull immediately away from her hold and then find real clothes. Another part whispered that he found her attractive and that maybe, just maybe her suggestion wasn't as horrible as it seemed and that maybe he should take her up on it. It was the latter thoughts that had Gray shivering and blushing faintly. So, Gray settled for something in between and just stayed where he was.

"Thanks for unchaining me." He said, looking into her deep blue eyes.

"Juvia would do anything for her Gray-sama," she replied. And he knew that she really would. She was totally obsessive about him, but there was a really small and rapidly growing part of him that found it kind of cute. He must still be feeling the alcohol, he thought, that was definitely it. But what the hell.

"Oh, fuck it." He said, and pulled her closer, unable to stop himself. Juvia's eyes went wide as she saw his face draw closer to hers. Gray kissed her lightly.

After a few moments, Gray pulled back to look into her face, wanting to gauge her reaction.

Gray swore again. She had fainted.

He sighed in frustration as he lowered her to the couch on which he had been chained. What a way to start something with a girl, nonconsensual bondage and fainting.

Gray decided that his first course of action would be to try to find some clothes to change into. Gray saw a promising looking dresser in a corner and began opening drawers. The first few yielded nothing of use to him, but the third drawer held and assortment of his own shirts, pants, and even a few pairs of boxers. Apparently Juvia had been more obsessive than he had thought. If they were going to start anything, he would have to have a talk with her about that.

As Gray tried to pull a shirt over his head (he had somehow managed to divest himself of the offending swimsuit without realizing it), and encountered resistance: he was wearing something on his head. He reached up and pulled off a headband that sported two long silky bunny ears. It now dawned on him what he must have been wearing: Erza's sexy bunny costume complete with knee highs and bunny ears.

"You'd better wake up soon Juvia," he said to her passed-out form as he froze the bunny ears and crushed them in his hand, "because we're gonna go kill someone."

* * *

**A/N:** If I were better at drawing, I would definitely want to draw this scene and the picture the two of them make. And Gray like that. Mmmm, no wonder Juvia passed out.

Thanks for the reviews, the favs, and the follows. But if you're following this or have faved it, do me a favor and drop a review, ok? I want to know what you think! And as always, the author would like to thank you for your continued support.

And for next chapter, we get to see what happens to Natsu when Lucy wakes up. So, will next chapter feature cute and fluffy Lucy or demon Lucy kick Lucy?

Until then mina-san!


	5. Luucyyy KIIIIIIIIICCCKKK!

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking_

Standard disclaimers apply. Hiro Mashima kami-sama owns Fairy Tail and all related omakes. Speaking of which…

Spoilers for Hiro Mashima's "Natsu and Asuka" omake if you haven't read that yet. (And if you haven't, check it out. It's pretty great.)

Dedicated to my reviewers and also to my cat Star. He sleeps next to me purring softly as I write things and occasionally he walks across my keyboard.

**Chapter 5: Luucyyy KIIIIIIIIICCCKKK!**

* * *

The first thing Lucy registered when she woke up was that she was warm. Uncomfortably warm. Hot, even.

She knew exactly why. It's wasn't like this hadn't happened before. True, it hadn't happened in a few weeks, but it was nothing unusual. It was almost becoming normal, waking up to find herself like this.

Natsu was in her bed again.

Lucy opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the dragon slayer sleeping next to her. She could only see his face and a bit of white scarf; it seemed that he had crawled under her blankets with her. No wonder it was so hot.

He looked really cute, she realized, lying there peacefully on her pillow with his mouth hanging slightly open.

Lucy sighed. She had been purposely avoiding him for the past day or so. And it was all because of Asuka. Ever since Asuka had ordered Natsu to kiss her, she had been feeling rather nervous being around him.

Because when Asuka had ordered Natsu to kiss Lucy, he had actually been willing to do it. Just thinking about it sent a shiver through her body. He had leaned in and had been about to kiss her. She hadn't been able to think straight. She had just panicked and shoved Happy in his face instead resulting in the infamous incident that had probably scarred both Happy and Natsu for life.

And so Lucy was feeling just a bit less comfortable around Natsu than normal. It wasn't really that the idea of him kissing her had scared her that much, it was just that she didn't want a first kiss with Natsu to be instigated by a little kid in control of Natsu's actions for a day.

In fact, the idea of Natsu voluntarily kissing her… She could think of worse things. As she gazed at his sleeping face, she tried to sort out exactly why it had fazed her so much. It couldn't be that she liked Natsu like that, could it? He was her nakama, after all. But looking at him sleeping like that stirred something in her chest, the same feeling she got when she remembered how he had almost kissed her.

Maybe Natsu had just been looking for an excuse to do that because when Asuka had insisted that he kiss her, he had not protested at all. Maybe Happy was actually right for once with all of his "he liiiiikes her" nonsense. But no, that was giving both of them way too much credit. There was no way Natsu had thought through that.

But as Lucy watched Natsu sleep, she couldn't help but feel that maybe, maybe if Natsu actually felt that way, she wouldn't mind so much.

As Lucy thought this, Natsu began to stir. He rolled onto his side so that he was facing Lucy, his arm flopping across Lucy's shoulder to pull her closer.

"Luuushhy…" he mumbled. Lucy wasn't sure if he was semi-conscious or merely dreaming.

"Natsu?" Lucy asked tentatively, her eyes widening as she gazed at his face.

Slowly Natsu opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. As his eyes focused on her face, his face split into a sleepy version of its trademark grin.

"Hi, Luce," he mumbled, smiling at her. He did not look at all surprised or embarrassed to have woken up in such a position.

Oh why did he have to act all cute and innocent and endearing like this? Lucy could feel her face heating up. Her embarrassment taking control, she tried to scoot herself away from Natsu. But Natsu just tightened his arm around her shoulder to prevent her from moving.

"Luce, what's up?" Lucy didn't reply, her face redder than ever. "And why didn't you come to the guild at all yesterday? I missed seeing you."

Lucy bit her lower lip and shifted her eyes away from Natsu's curious gaze. It was way too early in the morning for her to want to deal with this.

Natsu remained silent for a while. His hand drifted up from her shoulder to stroke her hair. Natsu ran his fingers through her hair slowly, apparently deep in thought. Lucy shivered involuntarily.

"…Is this because of what happened with Happy?"

"Eeehh?!" Startled, Lucy's eyes snapped up to meet his. Natsu had actually figured it out?

"Because if you're avoiding me just because you're worried about me being that kind of a pervert, you don't need to worry, I would never want to do that to Happy!"

Natsu smiled triumphantly as if he had just solved a complicated puzzle. Lucy mentally facepalmed. Trust Natsu to correctly identify the problem while managing to not understand anything about it at all. Natsu looked expectantly at Lucy as if demanding confirmation.

"Natsu!" She retorted. "I know you're not a pervert like that… it's just that… it's just…uhhh…" Lucy trailed off, too embarrassed by the implications to finish her sentence.

"Come on Luce, if that's not it, did something else happen that day?" Lucy was acutely aware of Natsu's fingers, still trailing distractedly through her hair.

He face reddened again, she couldn't believe he wanted her to spell this out for him. She was wanted to scream in frustration at his lack of intelligence. She also wanted to curl into a ball and disappear in embarrassment. Stupid Natsu.

"Oh," Natsu added, "is it because Asuka ordered me to kiss you?"

Lucy broke eye contact with Natsu, biting her lip. So he was capable of figuring it out.

"That's it, right?"

"…"

"Did you really dislike the idea of me kissing you that much?"

"..."

"Because I was serious when I said it wouldn't kill us. And since Asuka ordered me to do it, I figured I might as well try it. And I was curious."

"…Really?" There was no way. There was absolutely no way that Natsu had actually wondered what it would be like to kiss her. As much as she had occasionally hoped otherwise, he had proved countless times over that he never considered anyone that way. But maybe… maybe he was capable of being interested in someone like that.

"Yep!" Natsu grinned at her again, as brash and dauntless as ever. "Asuka asking you if we ever kissed got me wondering."

"…Eehhh?"

"Aww, come on Luce, it's not like we're gonna die or anything…"

And with that said, Natsu held Lucy in place and leaned forward, just like he had done two days ago. But this time was different. They were not in the middle of a crowded street and there was no small child watching them expectantly. There was no Happy this time for Lucy to shove between their faces. So Lucy decided that for this once, she would just let it happen.

Natsu pulled her head towards his and pressed his lips to hers. Lucy froze as she felt an electric pulse surge through her. After a few moments, Natsu drew back to lean his forehead against hers, his hand resting on top of her head. Lucy was speechless, her eyes wide and staring. Had Natsu really just…?

"Thanks, Luce," he said softly as he knotted his fingers in her hair, "But can I try that again?"

Wordlessly, her mind not functioning correctly, Lucy nodded her consent.

Natsu kissed her again, softly at first. Gently, he applied more pressure and as she moaned in pleasure, he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, running his tongue along her upper lip. Lucy's mind shut off. She could do nothing but feel and follow Natsu's lead.

Natsu's arms reached around her, pulling her closer. The contact between them was not enough. As Natsu kissed her, Lucy's hands tried feverishly to push aside the blankets separating their bodies.

As Lucy's hand slip along Natsu's hip, her brain suddenly flared awake as she realized one important fact.

Natsu was not wearing any clothes.

Not even Natsu kisses could hold her reflex reaction at bay this time. She shoved hard against his chest, pushing him away from her roughly. As he looked at her in confusion, Lucy let her instincts take over.

"Luuucyyy KIIIIIIIIIICCCKKK!"

Natsu went sailing across her room, slamming hard into the wall below her window.

"Lucy, whaaa…. " Natsu looked up at her, disoriented. And then, belatedly, he realized what Lucy must have noticed. He was not wearing a stitch of clothing except for his scarf. "…Oh."

"Natsu! You pervert!" Lucy shrieked at him from her bed. She covered her face with both hands, but seemed to have missed covering her eyes. "Get out! Now!"

Natsu blanched. She had gone into demon Lucy mode. Natsu reached around him, looking for any article of clothing that he could use and chanced across a pair of Lucy shorts. Natsu grabbed them and without a glance behind him, he fled out the open window.

Natsu streaked into an alley off of Strawberry Street. Lucy sure could be scary sometimes, he thought as he pulled on Lucy's short shorts which he could barely get closed. Why did she have to only have such restricting clothing? He'd have to go home wearing this, it was way better than walking home naked in mid-morning.

But at least he had gotten to kiss her. He had been thinking about trying that again ever since Asuka had suggested it. And it had far exceeded his expectations. He'd definitely have to try that again. If only it hadn't been for the naked thing…

But wait, how had he gotten to be naked and in her bed? The in her bed part was easy, he did that all the time without thinking about it. He'd probably just stumbled there after drinking so much last night. But the naked part? That was a bit harder to reason out. He hadn't done anything with Lucy, had he? No way, she'd never let him do that. Maybe it had been so hot out that he had unconsciously stripped? That must have been it. His clothes were probably lying around somewhere at Lucy's house, he'd have to go back and get them once she calmed down some.

But for now, he would just try to sneak back home without being seen. He'd get dressed in real clothes and then go see Lucy again. And maybe she'd let him kiss her again, he thought. Yeah, Lucy had seemed like she would be into that.

Smiling to himself, Natsu made his way home.

* * *

**A/N:** The reference to what Asuka did to Natsu and Lucy comes from the omake "Natsu and Asuka" in which Natsu is stuck obeying Asuka for a day. This is about two days following the Asuka-related Natsu/Happy kiss, in case you hadn't gotten that.

If there was an image just for this chapter, it would be kind of like that image of Natsu with future Lucy, with him leaning his forehead against hers, his hand on top of her head and with her looking into his face somewhat surprised but deeply moved at the same time. Imagine that happening with actual Lucy and Natsu and taking place in a bed. Yeah, that's what I'd want as the image for this chapter by itself. Either that or that lovely image of the Happy/Natsu kiss instigated by Lucy and Asuka.

Also, I was made aware of the fact that the Crime Sorcière brotp week starts today. Hmm. Maybe I'll write that into one of the future chapters (probably the epilogue). Oh, and if you are reading this and write fics, you should write something about them because of all the reasons.

Anyway, the author would like to thank you for your continued support:)


	6. Mounting evidence

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking_

Standard disclaimers apply. Hiro Mashima still wins at life even if this past manga chapter (414) was kind of brutal.

Dedicated to my reviewers and also to my cat Star who loudly voices his encouragement. Or maybe he just wants to be let out…

**Chapter 6: Mounting evidence**

* * *

Despite Natsu's hope that he would be able to sneak home without anyone noticing his current state of attire, luck was just not with him. As he rounded a corner, he heard a voice yell out at him.

"Hey! Flame brain!" Gray shouted.

"What do you want, ice prick?" Natsu turned around, readying himself for a fight. As he turned, he saw Gray with Juvia clutching onto his arm.

"Nice clothes!" Gray yelled in response to Natsu's state of attire. It was something, Gray had to admit. Natsu was wearing a tiny pair of jean shorts that barely closed in the front. Gray just assumed that Natsu had been forced into them by whoever had dressed Gray in Erza's clothes. Although Natsu probably didn't look as indecent as Gray had looked, he was showing way more skin, clad only in the shorts and his scarf. He looked… more indecent than Gray's usual state of undress.

Gray was grateful (for once) for Juvia's hoarding and stalking tendencies; at least he had not been forced to walk home wearing what he had woken up in…

"Shut up!" Natsu replied to Gray's taunt. In his mind, Gray was just asking for a pounding now. Natsu was about to spring in for an attack when Juvia interrupted him.

"Natsu? Are those Lucy's shorts?"

Natsu stopped and looked at Juvia. "Yeah, well, Lucy kicked me out before I could find my clothes."

Oh, thought Gray, so Natsu had chosen to wear them of his own volition. Did that mean he had gotten drunk and made a move on Lucy? Huh.

"Love rival stole Natsu's clothes and dressed him up like that?" Juvia had her hands pressed to either side of her face as she swayed slightly, letting her imagination run wild. Her eyes took on a dangerous glint as she reached a conclusion. "Does that mean that _she_ could have been the one who dressed up Gray-sama?"

Natsu looked between Juvia and a spluttering Gray in confusion. "Wait… Gray was wearing Lucy shorts too?"

"No," Juvia replied, "But when Juvia woke up this morning, she found Gray-sama not wearing anything but-mmmhh!"

Gray cut her off by covering her mouth with hand. "Juvia!" He leaned down and whispered something into her ear as her eyes went wide and she blushed.

Natsu watched this exchange, thinking. If Gray had woken up naked as well, in Juvia's apartment no less, maybe someone had set them up. Lucy wouldn't do that, she had not seemed very happy about the whole naked thing this morning. But if someone had set them up, that would explain the whole naked thing.

"So…" Natsu said, voicing his thoughts, "Do you think someone set us up?"

"Who would be this sadistic though?" Said Gray, still holding Juvia close. "Someone who was there after we fell asleep last night…"

"I bet Gajeel did it!" Said Natsu, thinking back to their drinking competition the previous night. "He's definitely twisted enough to pull something like this!"

"Ok, let's go kill him," replied Gray. "Come on Juvia! Natsu!"

"I'll meet you two there," replied Natsu. There was no way he was going to the guild dressed like this.

Juvia followed Gray as the headed to the guild. As Gray grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind him, she smiled. As much as the whole bunny bondage incident had bothered her Gray-sama, she really couldn't complain. The whole thing had finally gotten Gray-sama to kiss her!

Earlier that morning, Gray had explained his end of the story. She hadn't been entirely convinced when he told her that he planned revenge on whoever had set them up. She would much rather thank them for giving her an opportunity with Gray. She would have to figure out who had set them up so that she could do something nice for them.

Was it really Gajeel though, like Natsu had suggested? Somehow, Juvia didn't think that he'd go that far. No, if he'd been that drunk he probably would have just started fighting with them. And he would never go that far sober unless they had _really_ pissed him off.

So, if it wasn't Gajeel, who could it have been? Who would have set up both Gray and Natsu like that? Laki was her only lead so far. Juvia hoped she would be at Fairy Tail when they arrived.

When Gray and Juvia entered the guild, Gray immediately spotted Gajeel. The iron dragon slayer was eating breakfast next to Levy. They both looked to be a bit dreamier than usual-they had that misty dopey look of a couple that had just gotten together. They were just staring at each other, soppily lost in each others' gazes.

Gray made his way over too them, dragging Juvia along behind him. Gray seemed entirely unaware of the fact that the entire guild was watching them, eyes wide at seeing Gray holding Juvia's hand without protest. Mirajane smiled gleefully at them from behind the bar.

"Gajeel!" yelled Gray as he reached their table and aimed a punch at Gajeel's head. "You'll pay for what you did to me you sadistic bastard!" Gajeel ducked the punch and stood up.

"Well, if you wanna be that way…" Gajeel stood up readied himself for a fight.

Having let go of Gray's hand as soon as the fighting had started, Juvia walked over to Levy, absently watching the two mages squabble. When Levy questioned Juvia about what had happened with Gray, Juvia recounted every detail of her morning. After Levy's initial shock at hearing how Juvia had found Gray, she turned thoughtful as she listened to Juvia's thoughts on a possible conspiracy.

"I agree that someone probably set all three of them up," said Levy, her brain working. "I thought that Gajeel and I had been the only ones set up. But if this happened to Gray and Natsu too…"

Levy trailed off, lost in thought as she watched Gray and Gajeel trade punches. Their fight hadn't gotten too serious yet, they hadn't even started using magic, but even so Levy felt this had gone on long enough.

"Gajeel! Gray!" she yelled at them, "Someone set everyone up, it happened to Gajeel too!"

The two mages lowered their upraised fists, looking at Levy. Seeing that Gray had stopped throwing punches, Juvia grabbed onto his arm, determined to keep him close. Levy stood up and walked over to Gajeel, taking his hand. "Calm down."

"So," smirked Gajeel as he snaked an arm around Levy's shoulders, "Someone finally got you to get your act together with Juvia, huh?"

"Could say the same for you and Levy." Gray replied, wondering if they'd chained Gajeel up as well.

It was onto this scene that Natsu burst into the guild, now clad in his normal attire, with Happy trailing behind him. His fist burst into flame as he spotted Gajeel and yelled a challenge.

"Natsu!" yelled Levy, determined to stop this before it everything went up in flames, "It wasn't Gajeel!"

Natsu walked over to where they were all standing, his eyes taking in Gajeel with his arm around Levy and Juvia hanging off of Gray. Damn, why did Lucy have to kick him out of the apartment? Couldn't they have ended up like that?

"Juvia," said Levy, "Let's go talk to Laki, she probably knows who did it."

"Why would we need to talk to Laki?" asked Gajeel as Natsu nodded in agreement.

"Because she lent her magic-blocking chains to help tie up Gray-sama for Juvia!"

"Juvia!" Gray rounded on Juvia, fighting a blush.

As Natsu and Gajeeel laughed at Gray's predicament, Levy looked around the guild, trying to spot Laki. When she didn't see her, she decided to ask Mirajane if she knew anything. Leaving behind the dragon slayers making fun of the ice mage, Levy approached the bar.

When Levy asked Mira if she had seen Laki yet, Mira just smiled and shook her head, knowing that there would soon be juicy gossip coming her way. As Levy was about the return to her table, Mira shoved a bundle into her arms.

"Levy, can you give these to Natsu? Kinana found them over there in the corner while she was cleaning up earlier this morning." Levy looked down and saw that she was holding Natsu's clothes from the previous night. This was getting more and more interesting.

"Mira?" Levy asked, thinking that Mira had probably been around when they had all had their stupid drinking competition the night before. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about how all three of them ended up passed out in compromising situations with the girls they like, would you?"

"Oh, of course not!" Mira smiled her trademark sweet, innocent and thoroughly evil smile as she turned back to the bar.

Fairy Tail was somewhat rowdier than usual. As the morning turned into afternoon, Cana got the alcohol going a bit earlier than usual to celebrate the new couples. The afternoon proceeded to devolve into drunken mayhem. But the most interesting part of the afternoon started when Lucy showed up, pointedly ignoring Natsu.

Needless to say, Lucy was shocked by the newest gossip at Fairy Tail and by the ways in which Gray and Juvia as well as Gajeel and Levy had finally gotten together. When Levy explained how the whole thing must have been an elaborate prank against them all, Lucy began to realize how Natsu must have gotten into her bed the night before.

Lucy was just deciding whether or not to go over and talk to Natsu when Laki entered the guild.

Laki was immediately surrounded by two dragon slayers and an ice mage, demanding to know who had set up the whole thing while Lucy, Juvia, and Levy hung slightly back. While Laki was surprised to hear about what had happened to Gajeel and Natsu, Gray's situation was no surprise to her.

"Of course I supplied the chains!" She confirmed, then added with a wink at Gray "And feel free to borrow them again any time you want. I have other things too if you want, I'm sure Juvia would love the nice wooden-"

"Laki!" Gray shouted at her, "Shut up about that!"

"Actually Laki," Levy said coming up to talk to her, "Would you mind telling us who you helped set Gray up like that?"

"Oh," replied Laki nonchalantly, "that was Pantherlily, he seemed so sure that Juvia would like it that I decided to help him out."

"Juvia loved it!" Juvia said, "Juvia must find Pantherlily and thank him for setting her up with Gray-sama!"

Everyone glanced around the guild looking for Pantherlily with varying degrees of murderous intent. Across the guild seated at the bar, Pantherlily paused, a mug of beer half-way to his mouth. As he saw Gajeel, Gray, and Natsu looking towards him, he lowered his drink.

_Oh, shit_, he thought. It was time to disappear. Lily took off into the air, flying as fast as he could. Gajeel's gihis of laughter followed him as he sped away. He was out of the doors and flying free before Gray and Natsu began shooting ice and fire at him.

Lily dodged flames and spears of ice. He had known they would probably be a bit upset, but it had been hilarious to see everyone's reactions.

Oh, had it ever been worth it. Gray had finally stopped being a stubborn idiot and had warmed to Juvia's advances. Natsu had finally stopped being a dense idiot and had kissed Lucy of his own volition, if what he had overheard Lucy telling Levy was any indication. And Gajeel hadn't even been mad at Lily because he had finally had the chance with Levy that he had been wanting for weeks.

Lily successfully made his escape. Now all he needed was to take a few days away from the guild, maybe go on a mission. When he came back, this would all have blown over.

Lily smirked to himself. By the time he returned, they would probably all be thanking him. After all, last night had been a rather successful night of drunken matchmaking.

* * *

A/N: I really hope you've enjoyed reading! This is the last long-ish chapter. Next up is the epilogue in which Erza discovers who exactly stole her favorite outfit and what they did to it. So... any predictions on how that will go?

Also, I am amazed at how many people are following this story in comparison to how many people have reviewed. If you're following it, please drop me a review and let me know why you keep reading! I value your comments! And as always, the author would like to thank you for your continued support;)


	7. Thunderstorms of retribution

_Lily's Night of Drunken Matchmaking_

Standard disclaimers apply. Hiro Mashima still wins at life even if this past few manga chapters were brutal.

Dedicated to my reviewers and everyone who has followed and faved this story. Here's an epilogue just for you.

**Epilogue: Thunderstorms of retribution**

* * *

It was nearly a week following Lily's night of drunken matchmaking. Erza sat at the bar eating a slice of strawberry cake while Lucy sipped a drink.

"Lucy," asked Erza, casually taking a bite of cake, "Have you seen my bunny outfit? I can't seem to find it anywhere and I was sure we left it around here somewhere."

"Erza," Lucy replied giggling, "Didn't you hear about that part of Lily's prank on Gray?

"_That _part?" Erza shook her head.

"When Juvia found Gray chained up in her apartment do you know what he was wearing?" Erza's eyes narrowed as Lucy giggled and leaned closer to whisper. "Juvia said that Gray makes the best sexy bondage bunny ever."

A dark shadow fell across Erza's face and her eyes glinted dangerously. She set down her plate of cake and stood up. Pantherlily was going to pay.

But a quick glace around the guild showed that Lily was nowhere to be found. Erza's eyes fell upon Laxus drinking in a corner with the Raijinshu and Juvia who was fawning over Gray.

Erza strode over to where Gray was actually tolerating Juvia's behavior and bodily grabbed Juvia from her seat next to Gray. Erza dragged Juvia her over to Laxus, ignoring all protests. As she stood in front of Laxus and Juvia, she voiced an order.

"Make it rain. Make lightening. Make it storm!" She glared at down at them both, her hands on her hips, radiating darkness with her eyes shining menacingly.

Seeing Erza's expression, Juvia agreed. Erza was being scary. Laxus just shrugged, seeing no harm in her request. It would probably be entertaining to watch whatever Erza had in mind.

Rain started to pour down above the guild hall roof. Thunder rolled above as lightening shot through the sky, flashing from Laxus out through the windows. Erza smiled in satisfaction as the thunderstorm outside continued. It shouldn't take much longer now…

Lily shot through the guild's front door with his hands over his ears and flew directly to Gajeel seeking comfort. As he sat in Gajeel's lap, soaking wet and clearly terrified, Erza approached Gajeel and Pantherlily.

Erza looked like she meant business. She towered over Pantherlily who cowered in Gajeel's arms. Between the thunderstorm and Erza, this had to be the most scared Lily had ever been.

"Pantherlily," A flash of lightening illuminated Erza's silhouette, making her look like an avenging demon as she loomed above him, her eyes flashing red. "Do not give Gray cause to use my clothes for kinky role playing ever again."

Gajeel chuckled. Well, that was one way of phrasing it. Lily hid his face in Gajeel's arms, shivering in fear. Satisfied that Lily had been thoroughly scared, Erza nodded to Juvia and Laxus to call off the storm.

Across the guild Natsu and Gray, their bickering temporarily forgotten, laughed at Lily's expense, satisfied that he had finally gotten paid back for the incident.

Lily mused that Erza was possibly the scariest person he had ever met. Scarier even than Erza Knightwalker, who would much sooner just kill you than scare you to death. No, this Erza was definitely the scariest person Lily had ever come across. Thunder boomed overhead. Lily decided that next time he got the chance play pranks, he would stay well away from Erza.

Or at least from her things.

Maybe.

As the thunderstorm dissipated, Lily looked across the guild at Erza who was sitting at the bar eating her cake. Because she had scared him so badly, he couldn't stop himself from imagining taking revenge. Now that the storm was gone, Lily's mind resumed its usual plotting.

Next time Lily got the opportunity to play drunken matchmaker, he knew exactly who he would be setting up. Erza definitely needed that extra push that only Pantherlily could provide. Perhaps Erza wouldn't mind so much if it was _Jellal_ wearing her bunny suit and chained to a couch.

Safe in Gajeel's arms, Lily smirked his trademark smirk at Erza's back. His next prank was going to be even more entertaining.

Lily couldn't help himself, his brain was already spinning with devious activity. He was plotting the next night of drunken matchmaking.

* * *

**A/N: ** So, that's it for now. Maybe at some point I will write a Jerza onshot influenced by Pantherlily (and Meredy or course, she'd have to be in on that because Crime Sorcière is my brotp). But I'd post that separately if I ever end up doing it, and it wouldn't be for a while - a new semester is starting up.

Oh, and speaking of a new semester starting up… If you read/write fics in French, I'd love to ask you some questions for a graduate research paper I will soon be presenting on international anime/manga fics and why they exist entitled "How to justify spending so much time on while getting a masters in French literature." I will probably put a link to that paper up on my profile in a few months…

Looking at the numbers for this story, I'm pretty happy. As of me posting this, over a hundred follows, exactly 50 favorites, over 30 reviews, and nearly 7000 hits. Also, if you are reading this in this not in the US and English is not your first language, how you got started reading fics in English? So, the author would like to thank you for your continued support.

I'm happy you've all been reading. So, until next time then, mina-san.


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